It's no surprise that America, land of second chances, fabled site
of self-invention, also harbors an endless appetite for self-help. From
Poor Richard to Dale Carnegie to Tony Robbins, we love the idea that we
can fix what's broken by ourselves, without the expensive ministrations
of doctor or shrink. The limits of HMOs, and the limitlessness of the
Internet, have lately made self-help even more appealing: Americans spent
$563 million on self-help books last year, and surfed more than 12,000
Web sites devoted to mental health. An estimated 40% of all
health-related Internet inquiries are on mental health topics, and
depression is the number one most researched illness on the Web.
In the spirit of pioneers, we're concocting our own remedies and
salving our own wounds. But is it good medicine? Once the preserve of
charlatans and psychobabblers, self-help has undergone its own
reinvention, emerging as a source of useful information presented by
acknowledged authorities. That's not to say snake oil isn't still for
sale. Often, the messages of self-help books tend to be vast
oversimplifications, misrepresenting a part of the truth for the whole,
as the following list of popular misconceptions and distortions
demonstrates.
The antidote -- the "good" kind of self-help, grounded in
research -- is also available to those who help themselves. Just keep in
mind that even the best self-help may be too simplistic to manage complex
problems, and that research, with its emphasis on straight science, may
not always offer a clear course of action.
DISTORTION 1
Vent your anger, and it'll go away.
SELF-HELP BOOKS SAY: "Punch a pillow or punching bag. And while you
do it, yell and curse and moan and holler," advises Facing the Fire:
Expressing and Experiencing Anger Appropriately (Bantam Doubleday Dell,
1995). "Punch with all the frenzy you can. If you are angry at a
particular person, imagine his or her face on the pillow or punching bag,
and vent your rage physically and verbally."
RESEARCHERS SAY: Pillow punching, like other forms of vigorous
exercise, might be helpful for stress management, but recent studies
suggest that venting anger may be counterproductive. "Venting anger just
keeps it alive," says Brad Bushman, Ph.D., a psychologist at Iowa State
University. "People think it's going to work, and when it doesn't, they
become even more angry and frustrated."
In addition, several studies show that the outward expression of
anger leads to dangerously elevated cardiovascular activity, which may
contribute to the development of cardiovascular disease.
Bushman recently put the so-called "catharsis hypothesis" to the
test, deliberately inducing anger in a group of college students by
marking nasty comments on essays they had written. Those who slammed a
punching bag afterward were more, not less, aggressive to people they
subsequently encountered.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: A better tack, says Bushman, is to do "anything
that's incompatible with anger and aggression." That includes watching a
funny movie, reading an absorbing novel, sharing a laugh with a friend,
or listening to music. Given time, your anger will dissipate, and then
you'll be able to deal with the situation in a more constructive
way.
Though Bushman has found that exercise can actually heighten
physical arousal and keep anger alive, other studies have concluded that
sustained strenuous activity might indeed release anger and improve mood.
And nontraditional exercise programs like tai chi, yoga and stretching
may not only dissipate negative feelings such as anger but make people
more conscious of their mood states, paving the way for them to do
something constructive about them.
DISTORTION 2
When you're down in the dumps, think yourself happy by focusing on
the positive.
SELF-HELP BOOKS SAY: "Close your mental doors behind you on
unpleasant circumstances or failures you have experienced," commands
Napoleon Hill's Keys to Positive Thinking (Plume, 1998). "Use your brain
for controlled, optimistic thinking. Take possession of your mind and
direct it to images of your choosing. Do not let circumstances or people
dictate negative visual images."
RESEARCHERS SAY: Research shows that when we're anxious or
stressed -- in other words, exactly when we need a mood boost -- our minds
become unable to provide one. That's because we're so preoccupied with
our troubles that we don't have enough brainpower left over to suppress
negative thoughts. And when we try to distract ourselves, pessimistic
notions are the only ones that come to mind. "If you're really under
stress, putting yourself in a good mood by thinking positive thoughts
becomes not only difficult -- in fact it backfires, and you get the
opposite of what you want," says Daniel Wegner, Ph.D., a psychologist at
the University of Virginia.
In an experiment, Wegner asked a group of people to put themselves
in a good mood -- which they did, fairly easily. But when they were also
told to keep a nine-digit number in mind, they actually felt worse. The
energy they had available to control their mood was reduced by the effort
of remembering the number.
