Parental support, Jane finds, is a little harder to come by. Teens aren't the only ones who face confusion during the coming-out process; their family and friends also struggle with prejudices, fears and misconceptions. Jane's father is very quick to accept his daughter's new identity. Jane's mother, however, reacts with shock. After heating her daughter proclaim that she is gay, Jane's mother's first reaction is to want to protect her, protesting, "She's too young to know."
In fact, she probably isn't: Research conducted by Boxer, Herdt and Associates suggests that many lesbians have same-sex attractions as early as age 10, experience sexual fantasies by age 12 and disclose their sexual orientation by age 16. Parents are usually unfamiliar with what their gay children are experiencing, and this may create a feeling of being shut out. Parents might also fear that their kids will face physical danger, ostracism, prejudice and limited opportunities. In the film, we watch Jane's mother lament the wall being built between herself and Jane, and the loss of the socially acceptable image she had constructed for her daughter. A 1998 study by Anthony D'Augelli, Ph.D., and Scott Hershberger, Ph.D., reported that while mothers tend to be more accepting of their gay, lesbian or bisexual children than fathers, lesbians also reported more verbal and physical attacks from their mothers who don't accept their new identity than from fathers who don't approve. Jane's mother soon begins to accept her, however, and Jane is eventually able to sort out her feelings, attain a stable self-image and develop a sense of empowerment. Coming out to one's family may create conflict, but it can also bring family members closer.
