My Friend Max

Presents the short story 'My Friend Max: Half-Inch Alien Heals Troubled Family.'

By Steve Prasinos, published on March 01, 2000

Lenore says I don't know how Mama died, but I do. It was cancer. know plentyLenore don't. Like how she's gonna get in big trouble drinking and kissing those boys. And that Mama's in heaven. And how Max saved our family.

After the funeral, home wasn't much of a place to be. Papa quit working. He just drank beer and slept and watched TV.. Didn't hardly say a word. He could get real cross when he drank, but he didn't whup us much long as we steered clear. And Lenore, she went party crazy. Treated me like measles.

No more of the "Lenore Fashion Show" or whispering about some cute boy. And, of course, my Mama was gone. So I hung out a lot in the woods. But that was good `cause that's where I found Max's spaceship. It happened after this freaky lightning storm around the end of summer. I put on my Bulls hat and backpack and went out exploring. The air was cool and leaves and branches were down all over. After a spell I got hungry and went to the big flat rock I liked and had my PB and J sandwich and some water. Then, while I was putting away my stuff, I saw this shiny thing, like a silver plate or something, under some leaves.

So I hopped down and brushed this silver thing clean. It looked kinda like a Frisbee only solid metal with no scratches or writing--real pretty and smooth. And it had a little glass ball on top, like a diamond.

So I went to pick it up, but, no lie, that shiny thingamajig was about heavy as a boulder! I made like the Hulk but all I could do was lift it a bit, and then crash! How such a bitty thing could be so heavy I had no clue. I sat back on my rock and didn't know what to do. Then Einstein (that's me) got an idea: Get my old wagon and haul it out.

Sure enough, that's what I did. I fetched my red wagon and heaved that pretty thing up and in. Then I pulled and pulled like those slaves building pyramids and hauled that thing all the way to the garage,

I couldn't make heads or tails of it. No buttons or keyholes or switches or nothing. Since Papa's workbench was right there I got a hammer and banged the hee-bie-jeebies out of the thing but I couldn't dent or scratch it even a bit. So I threw a rag over whatever-the-heck-it-was and went for a snack. Papa was asleep on the couch with the tube on. Lenore wasn't home, of course.

So there I was looking for cookies or something when, I swear to God, the kitchen radio went on all by itself! This voice said, "Hello, young Mend," and I got a creepy-crawly feeling. Then it said, "Thank you for pulling me out of the woods." Honest! So I jumped up and tried to turn the radio off but it was off. Then I unplugged the thing and figured, well, that's that. But it talked anyway and said, real friendly like, "Your radio is fine, little friend. I am talking to you from my ship. You pulled it out of the woods in your wagon."

Now I was sure scared and said real quiet, "Papa? Papa, wake up." But he just kept snoring. Then real nice the radio said, "We need your help, little one." It was spooky but kinda interesting. "You talking to me," I asked, "like on a telephone?" "Yes, little one. I am talking to you." "How about you don't call me `little one'?" I said. "I'm 9 years old you know. Call me Truman."

"Of course, Truman. You may call me Max."

Now I was still trying to make sense of this so I said, "Where are you?" "In my ship, in your garage."

Then I said, "I don't like being teased so cut it out!" But the voice, Max I mean, said, "Truman, I mean you no harm. I live in the ship you brought from the woods. It is a spaceship, Truman. By your standards I am quite tiny. About the size of the nail on your little finger." I looked at my nail. "That little? .... Yes."

So I was thinking about an itty-bitty guy living in that thing, that spaceship, in my wagon and I kinda wanted to believe it but I was scared some smart aleck was trying to make me look stupid again. So I asked if that thing's a spaceship how come he ain't flying around?

"I'm afraid, Truman," the radio said, "That lightning has depolarized my ship." Now I don't know de-whatever-ized from grampa's knees but it sounded like trouble. And this didn't seem like no trick I ever heard of. But I figured I better check some more.

"So how come you speak English so good?" Now I had him, I thought.

"Actually," Max said, "I'm not speaking English. I'm talking in my own language. The Brain, however, is translating."

"The Brain?!" I said. "You got a live brain on that ship?"

"Inked. It solves many problems for me."

Sounds gross," I said. I still thought I night be getting tricked though. Then Max said, "Would you care to see what I look like?" And I said, yeah, I guess so, and he said, look at your television. I said, now don't wake Papa 'cause he gets real cross.

So I went into the living room where it stunk from beer and B.O.; Papa was snoring away. I looked at the TV and first there was some fancy lady sitting on a car and then, poof, there was this bald, pointy-eared kinda elf. He was smiling and waving at me with a long, skinny hand. Like he was at a parade. His head was shaped like an egg, with big dark eyes, like a bug.

I shouted, "Jumpin' Catfish!" and Papa woke up and yelled, Truman, what the hell! I froze and sneaked a look at the tube but there was just some talk show. I said, sorry Papa, and he hollered, scram if our know what's good for you, and I skat fast.