Single moms often depend on daughters for the support that Dad would normally have provided. But is it harmful for kids to mother their own mothers?
Not very, says Joyce Arditti, Ph.D., of the Virginia Polytechnic institute. In fact, it can be beneficial.
Arditti's interviews with 58 young adults raised by their mothers after a divorce indicated that their relationships are based in friendship, not hierarchy. When mothers leaned on their kids, children reported feeling a closeness and equality with them. Daughters, especially, were most likely to describe Mom as a "best friend."
These parent-child relationships are different, but not always more difficult, than traditional ones, says Arditti, who adds: "Using your child as a confidante is not necessarily wrong. And It actually may set up opportunities for children to talk to mothers."
