Scene: An episode of S & M activity; the S & M community.
Negotiating a Scene: The process of loosely outlining what the players want to experience before they begin a scene.
Play: Participation in a scene.
Toy: Any implement used to enhance S & M play.
Safe Word: A prearranged word or phrase that may be used to end or renegotiate a scene. This is a clear signal meaning "Stop, this is too much for me."
Dungeon: A place designated for S & M play.
Dominatrix (pl. Dominatrices): A female Top, usually a professional.
Lifestyle Dominant/Submissive: A person involved in a relationship in which S & M is a defining dynamic.
Fetish: An object that is granted special powers, one of which is the ability to sexually gratify. It is often wrongly confused with S & M.
Vanilla Sex: Conventional heterosexual sex.
Marianne Apostolides is author of Inner Hunger: A Young Women's Struggle through Anorexia and Bulimia (W.W. Norton, 1996).
