At first glance it looks remarkably like an obscure academic
journal,complete with impenetrable, jargony research reports, theoretical
treatises of interest to six people on earth, even a relentlessly dull
cover design. Then you look a little closer and notice something's
terribly--and hysterically--wrong. There's the article proposing a new
psychiatric diagnosis for office workers trapped in countless meetings:
"productivity-deficit hypercommittee disorder." Or the piece entitled "A
Twelve-Step Program for the Dead" (step one: "Remind yourself that death
is simply nature's way of telling you to slow down"). Welcome to the
Journal of Polymorphic Perversity, the world's leading (well, only)
satirical psychology journal.
The JPP, which has been described as the "social scientist's answer
to Mad magazine," is the brainchild of Glenn Ellenbogen, a Manhattan
psychologist determined to inject a little humor into the often grim
mental-health professions. Ellenbogen's satirical side bloomed shortly
after he completed his doctoral dissertation (he already had two master's
degrees and claims he got a Ph.D. so that he wouldn't have to put MAMA
after his name). To blow off some post-thesis steam, Ellenbogen wrote two
parodies that he published under the banner of the imaginary Journal of
Polymorphic Perversity. When submissions started pouring in to the
un-publication, says Ellenbogen, "I had no choice but to actually create
it." The first issue appeared in 1984.
He now receives hundreds of funny (and not-so-funny) manuscripts
each year. Fewer than one in thirty survives the final cut, making the
JPP far more selective than the real journals it spoofs. Assisting in the
selection process are eighteen reviewers, whose specialties range from
psychoanalysis to neurology. At least three of them review each
worthwhile submission, but humor depends so much on personal preferences,
says Ellenbogen, "that I don't think we've ever had all three agree that
a piece was funny," He settles for two out of three.
Often there's a serious point beneath the humor. A piece describing
psychological evaluation of the dead stemmed from the author's
observation that a leading intelligence test subtracts points for wrong
answers but sometimes gives credit for non-responses. So a corpse that
"took" the test could, in its unwavering silence, rate an IQ of 45,
equivalent to "moderate mental retardation." Other parodies have proven
downright prescient: one extolling a Psycho-therapists R Us therapy
franchise appeared years before John Gray's real-life Mars-Venus
Counseling Centers. But Ellenbogen's favorite creation is a Calvin
Klein-like ad for a faux perfume called "Borderline." Madison Avenue
pitch-perfect, it puts a positive spin on dating someone with borderline
personality disorder: "Unpredictable... provocative...passionate" gushes
the narrator about his girlfriend.
The American Psychoanalytic Association once refused Ellenbogen's
request to display his wares at their annual meeting, claiming that humor
was "inappropriate" to their mission. Ellenbogen sees that decision as
symptomatic of the field's reluctance to laugh at itself, observing that
psychology majors seem to become increasingly humorless as they progress
towards their doctoral degrees. In fact, even those who write for the
magazine occasionally worry about the effect JPP authorship could have on
their reputations: "There are some enormously important people in the
field who have written for us under pseudonyms," says Ellenbogen.
As for the magazine's appearance, he intentionally created "the
most boring cover I could conceive of. My goal is for unsuspecting
readers to look at it for the first time and go, `What the hell is
this?"' Nonetheless, Ellenbogen regularly receives calls from magazine
designers offering to give the publication an eye-catching makeover. "I
always tell them, `I will hire you on the spot--if you can create a more
boring cover."'
For more information on JPP, call (212) 689-5473, or visit their
web site at: www.psychhumor.com.
P.D.
ILLUSTRATION
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