The guru-disciple relationship is by nature unhealthy, believes
psychologist Rachel Brier, who has worked with over a dozen former
devotees of Kripalu's Desai. "When a relationship is based on the
idealization of one and the submission of another, the system invites
abuse. Disciples believe that the guru is godlike, and the disciple is
lost without the wisdom, knowledge, and love of the guru. It is an
emotionally fused relationship in which each needs the other to exist.
There are no healthy boundaries, no checks and balances, no real
`other.'"
KISSING FEET?
Yet religious teachers and their disciples are as old as recorded
history. That relationship has long been regarded as a sacred and yet
pragmatic path to God. And it can be, says Eugene Taylor. Some of our
problems with gurus are our own: we don't understand the nature of the
relationship we're importing, and we respond to it inappropriately at
times. "Let's not attack the idea of a spiritual mentor before we
understand that the definition is culture-specific. Americans interested
in Tibetan Buddhism fall all over themselves to meet the Dalai Lama,
while Tibetans can't understand why we'd want to meet him at all. They
feel he's too busy, and it's enough to have his picture. In Bengali
Tantrism, the idea of using sexuality as a vehicle for spiritual
attainment is common, but that idea is almost incomprehensible to most
Americans. And take the idea of kissing a guru's feet--in India this is
common, but in America it gives us a completely different impression.
What a religious scholar might see as Hindu devotion, looks to a typical
American like guru worship." Before we rush to condemn, cautions Taylor,
let's try to understand the roots of the guru's own culture.
John Perkins, the founder of the Dream Change Coalition and author
of Shapeshifting agrees. "In their native cultures, shamans are looked at
as ordinary people who happen to heal others. They milk cows, plant corn,
and also perform healings."
But when a shaman comes to America, says Perkins, he's often
idolized as a saint and guru. "To come from a culture where they are
respected but not revered, and to be suddenly idolized, is difficult for
them. A lot of women throw themselves at these men sexually. And because
shamans tend to consider sex as an ecstatic experience that opens the
door to other realities, it's a very confusing issue." Some gurus have
championed what is known as "crazy wisdom" -knowledge gleaned from
breaking boundaries and indulging in mind-altering drugs, alcohol, and
group sex. Yet, imported to this culture, crazy wisdom began to look
merely crazy. Consider Chogyam Trungpa Rimpoche, who appointed a
successor he knew had AIDS and was having unprotected sex with the
disciples.
A SAFFRON PARADOX?
For Americans in particular, the guru is an irreducible paradox.
Here in the land of religious freedom, the guru is inevitable, often
irresistible. How can we curtail his freedom, whether he's dreaming up
bacchanals or penance for his flock? "We are the only culture that has
enshrined within its legal system the expression of religious freedom in
any form," notes Taylor. "We believe in the idea that the small sect can
live and thrive next to the large sect." Even when that tiny sect is in
Waco, Texas, or Rancho Santa Fe, California, we are reluctant to
intervene--often until it's too late. And yet, as Esalen Institute's
Michael Murphy says: "This is one of the glories of America, this
freedom." Let our gurus fall. We'll hoist up new ones in their place.
Land of the brave, home of the free.
I've never followed a guru. But, like a curious and slightly
bedazzled tourist, I've stood at the periphery of the pack. I've invited
shamans into my home, trekked with them up mountains, and listened with
suspended disbelief as they told me about myself, the universe, and God.
But I always shook myself out of the dream and went on my way alone,
under the authority of nobody. An American in her sect of one. Wandering
through what Mark Edmundson wryly calls our "spiritual lazy Susan", in
search of transcendence, as Americans are wont to do.
Sociobiologist Edward O. Wilson long ago said that the impulse to
believe in God is "the most complex and powerful force in the human
mind...(and) an ineradicable part of human nature." When we funnel that
force down to a single religious teacher, we rebel against the very
freedom we fought for from the start.
Eventually, most of us wander free again. Luna Tarlo says she has
given up the possibility of enlightenment; in its place has come religion
with a small "r". "One has these moments of religious feeling," she says.
"Sometimes I go birdwatching and look at the variety and beauty of these
wonderful creatures, and whatever created us, and a sense of awe brings
tears to my eyes. How can any of us presume to rise above it? I don't
know where we come from. I don't think we ever can know."
PHOTOS (COLOR): The ecstasy of numbers (from top to bottom):
Vietnam's Coa Dai monastery at midday mass; Indonesian prayers for the
return of pilgrims to Mecca; and in America, masses of Moonies
marrying.
PHOTOS (COLOR): Bhagvan Das, libertine-cum-guru (top); Aimee Semple
McPherson, Pentecostal healer (right).
Tags:
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endless fall,
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gothic horror,
guitar strings,
gurus,
holy paradox,
horror flick,
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o j simpson,
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thick dark hair,
touched by an angel,
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