What do we see, when we pass each other on the street, but many
faces molded by the price paid for keeping the silences of the taboos
that remain--spirits confined within their own, and their society's,
silences? Even this brief essay on our public and intimate strictures is
enough to demonstrate that we are still a primitive race, bounded by fear
and prejudice, with taboos looming in every direction--no matter how much
we like to brag and/or bitch that modern life is liberating us from all
the old boundaries. The word taboo still says much more about us than
most prefer to admit.
What is the keeper of your silence? The answer to that question is
your own guide to your personal taboos. How must you confine yourself in
order to get through your day at the job, or to be acceptable in your
social circle? The answer to that is your map of your society's taboos.
What makes you most afraid to speak? What desire, what word, what
possibility, freezes and fevers you at the same time, making any sincere
communication out of the question? What makes you vanish into your
secret? That's your taboo, baby. You're still in the room, maybe even
still smiling, still talking, but not really--what's really happened is
that you've vanished down some hole in yourself, and you'll stay there
until you're sure the threat to your taboo is gone and it's safe to come
out again. If, that is, you've ever come out in the first place. Some
never have.
What utterance, what hint, what insinuation, can quiet a room of
family or friends? What makes people change the subject? What makes those
at a dinner party dismiss a remark as though it wasn't said, or dismiss a
person as though he or she wasn't really there? We've all seen
conversations suddenly go dead, and just as suddenly divert around a
particular person or subject, leaving them behind in the dead space,
because something has been said or implied that skirts a silently shared
taboo. If that happens to you often, don't kid yourself that you're
living in a "free" society. Because you're only as free as your freedom
from taboos--not on some grand abstract level, but in your day-to-day
life.
It is probably inherent in the human condition that there are no
"last" taboos. Or perhaps it just feels that way because we have such a
long way to go. But at least we can know where to look: right in front of
our eyes, in the recesses of our speechlessness, in the depths of our
silences. And there is nothing for it but to confront the keepers of our
silence. Either that, or to submit to being lost, as most of us silently
are, without admitting it to each other or to ourselves--lost in a maze
of taboos.
IN SEARCH OF THE LAST TABOOS
There is no "last taboo," according to Michael Ventura. But there
certainly are a lot of contenders, scattered like clues in a treasure
hunt for the heart of our culture. Here, an assortment of last taboos
"discovered" by the media in the past few years.
"What a great story: Incest. The last taboo!"
--Esquire, on Kathryn Harrison's memoir The Kiss.
"`The very word is a room-emptier,' Tina Brown wrote in her
editor's note when, in 1991, Gail Sheehy broke the silence with a story
in Vanity Fair....Menopause may be the last taboo."
--Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel
"The last taboo for women is not, as Gail Sheely would have it,
menopause, but facial hair."
--New York Times
"At a time when this is the last taboo, Moreton depicts
erections."
--Sunday Telegraph, describing sculptor Nicholas Moreton's
work.
"Virtually no representations of faith are seen on television, it's
the last taboo."
--Columbus Dispatch
"Anything with sex with underage kids is the last taboo."
--Toronto Star
"The last taboo: an openly homosexual actor playing a heterosexual
lead."
--Boston Globe
"With sexual mores gone the way of Madonna, picking up the tab has
become the last taboo for women."
--Philadelphia Inquirer
"Most Americans, if they think about class at all (it may be our
last taboo subject), would surely describe themselves as middle class
regardless of a pretty detail like income."
--Los Angeles Times Syndicate
"The Last Taboo Is Age: Why Are We Afraid of it?"
--headline in the Philadelphia Inquirer
"Smash the last taboo! [Timothy] Leary says he's planning the
first...interactive suicide.'"
--Washington Post
"Money is the last taboo."
--Calgary Herald
"Menstruation may be the last taboo."
--Manchester Guardian Weekly
"The real last taboo is that of privacy and dignity."
--Montreal Gazatte
"And then there's bisexuality, the last taboo among
lesbians."
--Los Angeles Times
"I think personal smells are one of the last taboos."
--The Observer
"Television's last taboo, long after f-words and pumping bottoms
common-place, was the full-frontal vomit. Now, even the last shred of
inhibition has gone, and every drama...[has] a character heaving his guts
all over the camera."
--The (London) Mail
"Tanning. The last taboo. If you're tan, then your IQ must be lower
than the SPF of the sunscreen you'd be using if you had any
brains."
--Los Angeles Times
Michael Ventura's latest novel is The Death of Frank
Sinatra.
PHOTO (COLOR): Taboo smashing
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