There are bestsellers, and then there are bestsellers. Daniel Goleman's 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence (Bantam) was a runaway hit all over the world. Drawing from an astonishing array of neurological, behavorial and psychological research, the book not only expains what emotional intelligence is but also how it leads to a successful life. Though Goleman has been nominated twice for the Pulitzer Prize, he is not one to rest on his emotional laurels. The psychologist has just edited Healing Emotions (Shambala), a book of conversations between the Dalai Lama and a group of prominent scientists and philosophers. His next book, due in 1998, will be about emotional intelligence in the workplace.
PT: What inspired you to write about emotions in the first
place?
DG: This book started as a co-venture with my wife, a
psychotherapist who has been the single most helpful person in my life. A
powerful emotional reaction is like a hijacking. She has taught me how to
get a better handle on my own emotional hijackings. I've learned that an
emotion will pass. When you're in the grip of a powerful emotion the
thoughts you think are so convincing. Yet if you challenge them, they
often aren't accurate.
PT: How has your wife helped you?
DG: Marriage is a very good place to work on emotions. It's in our
most intimate relationships that we tend to lose our balance. My wife and
I have been able to use our marriage as an arena to work on our mutual
trigger points.
PT: Obviously, this book has struck an extraordinary chord and
crossed virtually every cultural barrier.
DG: At first I was amazed about that. But I was writing about some
very deep commonalities among all people, about a universal process going
on in the brain and the central nervous system.
PT: What purpose do emotions serve, especially if they lead us
astray?
DG: You have to understand the fight-or-flight system. It's the way
we're wired, and what allowed us to become the species we are today. The
fight-or-flight reaction is so powerful that even in modern life we can
have the same primitive response that was quite useful back in Stone Age
days. But now we're responding mainly to symbolic emergencies. Like Mike
Tyson, who got enraged and bit an inch out of his opponent's ear. He
said, "I am taking the blows for my children." He clearly has a deeply
felt sense that he's boxing to help his family, and he reacted as if he
were actually in a life-and-death struggle to protect his kids. That's a
dramatic example of the kind of thing that happens to us every
day.
PT: What is emotional intelligence, exactly?
DG: It's a range of competencies: self-awareness, the ability to
manage emotions, to motivate yourself, social skill, empathy. The whole
profile is important. A sociopath is emotionally intelligent in some ways
and absolutely deficient in others.
PT: You've helped orchestrate conversations between the Dalai Lama
and Western scientists, one of which you've turned into Healing Emotions.
What is his Holiness like?
DG: He has a keenly inquisitive mind. He's always been interested
in science. I think if he weren't the Dalai Lama he'd be an
engineer.
PT: How has Emotional Intelligence changed your life?
DG: The success has been very freeing. I don't have to scramble. I
can take a bike ride if I want to, or go to Europe to give a talk.
PT: But instead you're working on another book.
DG: After that I'll probably rest.
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