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While traditional gender roles have discouraged women from speaking their minds, they've also kept men from listening to their hearts. Since many men are unable to express or acknowledge their emotions, even their families and friends often aren't aware when they are depressed, says Cambridge, Massachusetts, family therapist Terrence Real, author of I Don't Want to Talk About It (Scribner, $24). Although women suffer from mood disorders at nearly twice the rate of men, Real contends that depression is vastly underdiagnosed in men because it manifests itself in different ways than female depression does. A man you know may be depressed, says Real, if he's been acting more aggressively; having more difficulty being intimate and making emotional connections; becoming a workaholic; or "medicating" himself with alcohol or drugs.

Unfortunately, ordinary folks aren't the only ones subject to gender misconceptions about depression. Real cites an experiment in which psychologists were given a hypothetical case study of one of two depressed patients--a male and a female with identical symptoms. Despite the patients' sameness, the psychologists were more likely to judge the mate patient's condition as "severe" than the female's. Apparently, l even experts believe that if a man outwardly displays the signs, he must be really depressed.

Edited by Peter Doskoch

Tags: cambridge massachusetts, communication, depressed patients, depression, different ways, emotional connections, family therapist, gender, hearts, many men, men, misconceptions, sameness, signs, traditional gender roles, women

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