Here's a sobering stat: adults who grew up with an alcoholic parent
are a third more likely to end up divorced.
Part of the reason may lie in the depression and self-esteem
problems that often plague the progeny of heavy drinkers. But a new study
suggests that living with alcoholic parents also poisons kids' views of
marriage--predisposing their own relationships to fail.
In a sample of nearly a thousand college students, those with
alcoholic parents reported far more negative attitudes and emotions about
marriage than did kids of light drinkers or teetotalers. The heavier
their parents' drinking, the grimmer students' opinions about wedlock.
It's no surprise, then, that boozers' broods intended to delay marriage
longer than did their peers.
Once children of alcoholics actually tie the knot, the danger is
that their negative attitudes will doom the marriage, warns Tim Thayne, a
doctoral candidate at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State
University. "It sets up a way of looking at things that happen in the
relationship. They put a negative spin on them. And as they look for
things that confirm their beliefs, their expectations will likely come
true--a self-fulfilling prophecy."
But it's possible to counteract such attitudes. Simply
acknowledging that their upbringing has skewed their view of marriage may
help some couples avoid self-destruction, says Thayne.
Another approach is for such folks to seek out the positive marital
role models they lacked as kids. Observing couples who successfully
tackle the problems that crop up in every marriage can help children of
alcoholics keep the faith through tough times.
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