Discusses the use of self-esteem for detecting and averting social
rejection. Steps for fixing sinking self-esteem; Avoiding depression and
other negative emotions; Implications of membership in gangs.
By
PT Staff, published on November 01, 1995
That the self-esteem system processes information at a preconscious
level can be seen in the speed of our ability to pick up signs of
disapproval. Studies by other researchers demonstrate that people are
particularly fast at detecting angry faces in a picture of a
crowd.
Actually, the whole monitoring mechanism is weighted towards the
negative. Even neutral feedback registers almost as low as rejection,
Leary finds.
When someone tells us, "I don't care if you stay or go," the
statement may be perfectly neutral -- but it doesn't do us much good. We
need clear demonstrations of acceptance for self-esteem to hit
positive.
And when it doesn't, we suffer a plethora of ill effects. Many
studies show that low self-esteem is associated with depression, anxiety,
and every other negative emotion, as well as with maladjustment and even
ill health. Leary does not dispute those findings; he just thinks they've
been misattributed to the wrong cause.
"The reason low self-esteem is associated with all manner of ill
effects is that they are really a consequence of long-term perceived
rejection. Or they may be a consequence of dysfunctional attempts to
connect with others."
Count among them joining gangs or other groups that pose a danger
to oneself. And people who engage in substance abuse or extreme
risk-taking usually suffer from some deficit in belongingness, the North
Carolina psychologist points out.
For over 200 years, Western culture has been marked by a rise in
emphasis on the individual and on individuality. Now at its zenith, such
thinking has also been accompanied by a deepening psychospiritual
malaise.
Perhaps recognizing the real meaning of self-esteem will allow us
to see that some group-centeredness, some attempt to fit in with others,
is a badly needed corrective.
ILLUSTRATION
Illustrated by Timothy Cook
Tags:
acceptance,
affective reactions,
affirmations,
appropriate response,
busy driving,
conventional wisdom,
danger zone,
financial security,
fuel gauge,
gas tanks,
happy marriage,
inner sense,
interpersonal relationships,
mark r leary,
occupational success,
rejection,
response,
salem north carolina,
self-esteem,
sense of self,
social rejection,
social status,
true function,
wake forest university,
winston salem north carolina
