In this age of 15-minute fame, sooner or later it will happen to
you too,guaranteed: You'll be sitting there flipping through the channels
and pow! There will be one of your pals, whooping it with Jay or Dave or
smooching with Brad or Uma.
At first, it won't even register. And then, some minor feelings of
conflict--about how your dear friend (the bitch/prick) deserves it all
(should go to hell) because by talent and sweat alone (sheer
luck/nepotism/the tastelessness of the masses) they made it!--you'll be
stuck with that same hollow, queasy feeling I had recently when an old
friend called to say he was coming to New York to play a gig with his
band.
I replied to my buddy "Love to," wished him luck, and adjusted my
plans accordingly. As I hung up the phone, though, I started to feel a
little queasy: This time around my pal's band was headlining a sold-out
show at Madison Square Garden, one of the undisputed goalposts of
success. Did this mean that my somewhat drab friend from Mrs. Johnson's
science class was an actual rock star? And if it did, then what would it
mean for Me?
Now, there's nothing new about competing with your friends.
Everyone does it to one degree or another; always have, always will. And
let's face it, there is always a bit of envy or grief when someone you
know makes it, and at least a trace of subliminal joy when this big-shot
pal takes a fall.
But there is something much different--and far more menacing--about
those friends or former friends who make a quixotic tab at a showbiz
career and actually succeed. After all, no matter how far one goes in a
"straight" career, it can't compare to the cachet of the famed
entertainer. Even presidents suck entertainer. Even presidents suck up to
movie stars and famous jocks.
If anything, this effect is doubled for anyone under 40, for
success in the early years of professional life is usually invisible or
at least easy to ignore. How threatened can you really be by the youthful
queen of marine biology or real estate or even the young king of
advertising? As long as you don't compare pay stubs or accept invitations
to their industry awards ceremonies, who cares?
But contrast this with the potential psychic pain lurking in even
minor showbiz success: Take the case of a college friend of mine whose
former live-in boyfriend landed a role on a weekly TV drama. For two
months she couldn't turn on her TV or leave her L.A. home without being
accosted by billboards and bus signs of her smirking ex--hugging, if you
can believe this, the same curvy homewrecker who had caused their breakup
in the first place. Now, just think how puny Madonna's exes or high
school chums feel.
So when your best friend, your oldest friend, or the geek from chem
class lights up the screen, remember these eight helpful tips:
1. They're probably not such a big star after all.
The first thing to remember about your pal the star is that, hey,
they're probably only a smidgen less of a nobody than you. This is due to
what might be called the "atomizing" of popular entertainment: As
consumers are given ever more choices--of cable channels or musical
genres, for example--it is increasingly likely that an entertainer who is
an idol to one person may draw a total blank from another.
This is how it is possible that my friend's band can pack Madison
Square Garden to the rafters, sell hundreds of thousands or records,and
still be relative unknowns. They are,) Even the loftiest peaks of TV do
not break this dense fog of competing spectacles: a friend visiting from
overseas was surprised to turn on my tube and find that a high school pal
of hers was a featured regular on a show, though a show she had neither
seen nor heard of.
Of course, the show was "Baywatch"--reportedly the most highly
watched in the world. How could this happen? My friend simply isn't in
the "Baywatch" demographic, and, living abroad, she hadn't gotten wind
through the high-school grapevine of all the excitement. All she could do
was shrug and say, puzzled, "Good for her . . . I guess."
2. They probably don't think they're such a big star,
either.
While it is perfectly natural for the newly successful entertainer
to be flush with self-confidence, all the frothy competition described
above tends to quickly make a conspicuous nuisance of itself. Put in a
more personal way, your friend the star may be the most famous person
you've ever met hell, they might be the thing that finally puts your
hometown on the map--but it's unlikely that they're the biggest thing
they've ever met. Think about it.
In more professional terms, the average successful entertainment
career offers more reality checks than a lifetime behind the counter at
McDonald's. Consider the experience of an acquaintance who landed a
regular spot on a sitcom occupying one of the most highly coveted slots
in television. Does he think he's king of the world? Hardly.
Like all but a handful of the top draws, he and his fellow cast
members have spent their year of triumph on network death row, with daily
reminders from the corporate hacks upstairs that it's big ratings or
death.
3. They're probably not making as much as you think.
Naturally, with all this pressure often comes a big paycheck. After
all, if the dub of highest-paid entertainers is full of people making 100
times as much as the average corporate heavy, then the fraternity of
freshly minted and lesser-known personalities must be making 100 times as
much as you and me.
Tags:
cachet,
celebrity,
dear friend,
friend,
goalposts,
jocks,
money,
movie stars,
mrs johnson,
old friend,
pals,
pow,
presidents,
prick,
professional life,
rock star,
science class,
self help,
sheer luck,
showbiz career,
success
