Cites research of Piera Serra in 'Family Process,' on why a
battered wife stays with her husband. Piera's view that, the victim
should be recognized as the innocent victim of the man who assaulted her.
She stays in the relationship seeking rehabilitation by way of a change
in her partner. Other thoughts on the relationship.
By
PT Staff, published on September 01, 1993
Domestic Violence
If a woman can accuse her husband of battering her--and a third to
a half of all women find themselves in such a position at some time--then
why doesn't she leave?
This question has perplexed observers for a long time. A
psychologist in Italy offers an unusual explanation: biggest source of
suffering is not the battering, contends Piera Serra, Ph.D., of Bologna.
It's the psychological distress.
By having been put in the punished position by her partner, the
victim acquires a "moral designation of guilt," Serra concluded after
following a group of 68 battered women.
"What she needs is to be recognized as the innocent victim of a man
who assaulted her," Serra explains in Family Process (Vol. 32, No. 1).
This can't be accomplished by leaving her partner--only by transforming
their relationship.
So she stays, seeking rehabilitation by way of a change in her
partner. "It is dreadful that the person who responds to the victim's
need for rehabilitation is her batterer, when, after the violence, he is
calm and sometimes contrite. But such a change in behavior frees her from
her role as accused."
Of course, she insists that she intends to leave. But, Serra points
out, "the more the woman declares her intention to separate, the more the
man demonstrates his dependence" by asking her forgiveness.
"In this case, the victim not only feels rehabilitated but finds
herself in a reversed relationship with her partner. It is this
psychological and moral relief--going from a humiliating and guilt-ridden
experience to one that is guilt-free--that gratifies her and makes her
stay."
PHOTO: Let's stay together?: The Ike and Tina syndrome.
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dependence,
designation,
guilt,
ike and tina,
innocent victim,
Italy,
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observers,
piera,
psychological distress,
relationship,
serra,
spousal abuse,
Suffering,
violence
