Nick: "You can't repeat the past."
Gatsby: "Why of course you can!"
-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
As everybody knows, Gatsby was wrong. Not only did he fail to keep
the girl, but he ended up getting shot-in the back, no less. No doubt he
was mooning over Daisy's voice. Other than having a great American novel
named after him, Gatsby's attempt at reconciliation is impractical and
ultimately a tad foolish. Too noble for this dusty world.
Clearly, returning to a former love--let alone making a successful
go of it--has gotten a bad rap. It isn't just Fitzgerald who believes
that time is linear and what's past is past, irrevocably. It's
conventional wisdom. People who attempt to go back in time are hopeless
romantics-"boats against the current" and not a happy lot. Forget about
"the extraordinary gift for hope."
But Fitzgerald didn't have a very good track record on being right.
Hemingway wryly told poor Scott to forget his personal tragedy and to
work like a man--which is what Scott attempted to do until he dropped
dead reading his Princeton alumni newsletter, no doubt wistfully
revisiting his tender youth. Meanwhile, a vast number of people have
ignored Gatsby's example and returned to old loves, with considerably
better outcome.
Take Grace Gabe, for example. She first met her husband, well-known
management consultant Warren Bennis, as a young resident at Harvard
Medical School. They got engaged and everything went swimmingly--until
Warren up and ran three days before the wedding. He didn't show up for
another 30 years. During that time, the two had married others and
divorced a couple of times. They both had gray hair. But that didn't stop
the now-psychiatrist Grace from jumping with more or less reckless
abandon into Warren's arms.
And guess what? They tied the knot and appear to be living happily
ever after-Fitzgerald notwithstanding. Gabe's lessons from the experience
make up our cover story, "Rekindling Old Flames." As our research shows,
the idea of reacquainting with old flames is more common than you'd
suspect (though 30 years may be pushing the envelope).
Speaking of "gut" issues-his name is Philip Neimark. He's a very
successful commodities broker. He's witty, urbane, and looks like your
favorite uncle-the one who not only performed magic tricks but also
showed you how they work. In service to his faith, he slits goats'
throats. He's a high priest of the IFA religion--a "babalawo," to be
specific.
No piece we've considered has divided our staff as much as "Shaman
in Chicago." Senior Editor Jim Mauro's reaction to running the piece
epitomized the objections in our editorial group. To quote from his
interoffice memo: "This piece disturbs me more than anything I've read in
a long time And that was just the first sentence.
But in the end--even though we wondered whether Neimark was
suffering from a midlife crisis or was more than a little loony--we
ultimately thought his story was a good example (however dramatic) of
Americans search for religious meaning and the current trend of breaking
away from orthodoxy.
In addition, you may be wondering why we unplugged Oliver Stone, or
what the rationale is behind some of our other celebrity interviews. Our
pious answer is: If you're going to try to cover the subject of why
people behave the way they do and offer practical information on managing
their lives, you better talk to the people who influence our national
vocabulary and collective visual mind. And just as Fitzgerald and his
flapper-philosophers captured the imagination and narrated the experience
of the '20s, so Oliver Stone has taken it upon himself to interpret
modern history. (Oh yes--most of Oliver Stone's leading men get shot,
too.)
Finally, experience dictates that, at best, there is a dubious
relationship between genuine accomplishment and recognition. For example,
the American National Magazine Awards is rife with publications that
couldn't accept their trophies because they had gone belly-up. So it's
with some trepidation that I note we have won the American Association
for Marriage and Family Therapy's top media award for coverage of family
issues. Hear, hear.
PHOTO: THE FITZGERALDS KICK UP THEIR HEELS (ARCHIVE PHOTOS)
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