Pennebaker says his own "ups and downs" centered mostly on marital
difficulties and job problems. "Through some of my research and observing
myself, I saw that certain things helped me cope. Principal among them
was writing about upsetting experiences, usually in a diary or journal.
My life doesn't fall apart much, but writing helped when that
happened."
He observed others writing things down to help them cope and
conducted some research on the subject.
"Writing helps you to learn and acknowledge emotions you're
feeling; helps you organize complicated events. In writing, you say what
you really think and mean. Writing should not replace interaction but
help you prepare for it." His most recent research [see "On the Job";
March/April'93] suggests that having people with serious problems write
about emotional experiences can reduce illness and improve immune
function.
"My wife and I went through what all people do who question the
nature of a relationship and its future. She was in law school, I was in
grad school, and it was a horrible time. With writing, I was able to
order my life. She handled her stress by talking to friends and is more
likely to turn to others."
Being denied tenure in 1983 brought a different kind of emotional
crisis. "This is a major blow to one's self-esteem, let me tell you," he
says. "Short of thinking about bombing the place," he said with a laugh,
"I wrote and plotted revenge. Seriously, I wrote to help get an
understanding of what had happened. I realized finally that my hope that
my record would prevail was naive."
Revenge never came. He moved back to Texas, was offered many jobs,
wound up in Dallas, and is widely recognized as a creative force. "Ten
years later, it still grates on me, but significantly less. I'm amazed 10
years later how much bitterness and anger I still feel. Just talking to
you about it is stressful. So I'll stop."
Pennebaker's ability to stop attending to stress-provoking events
is apparently a highly developed coping mechanism. "Bureaucracies drive
me crazy," he says, "so I pretty much bypass or ignore them. People who
always must go by rules and follow procedures stress me to the max. I try
to deal with people like this on a human level, but will go around them
if the stress level gets too high. I never attack. My advice is to reduce
stress by optimizing pleasure and success rather than trying to overcome
adversity; life's too short to remain in a stewing situation. Avoidance
and letting things roll off your back-those are good strategies."
He says that his children, a girl, 11, and a boy, 7, are targets of
his psychological approaches to problem-solving. "I don't preach. I try
to encourage them to talk about things that upset them. My daughter
doesn't buy it." Pennebaker says his personal and social life have poured
more into his research and professional life than the other way around.
"That's how I came to the value of putting things into words and
acknowledging emotions. I systematically mine my personal life to know
what to look out for."
His advice to others: Never take any finding too seriously. Be your
own researcher; learn what works for you. What works for others may not
help you at all. Borrow an idea, apply it to yourself, and if it works
take it. If not, move on.
PHOTO: Weiner-Davis relaxes with her family: Zachary, 7, Danielle,
13, and husband Jim.
PHOTO: James and wife Ruth with their kids, Nicholas, now 7, and
Teal, now 11.
Photographs by Bill Bilsley
Tags:
bed sheets,
cancer specialist,
candor,
expert knowledge,
family,
finding solutions,
hot buttons,
maladjustments,
molds,
parenting,
professional expertise,
professional training,
psychologist,
routine problems,
social dogma,
sophisticated approaches,
stress,
stress reduction,
therapy,
time crises,
wrong side of the bed
