Pursuing Happiness

To begin with, if I wanted to predict whether you feel happy and find life satisfying, there are some things that, surprisingly, it would not help me to know. For example:

• Tell me your age, and you've given me no clue. We can forget tales of "midlife crisis," "empty-nest syndrome," and despondent old age. Actually, happiness is equally available to people at every age. Moreover, rates of depression, suicide, and divorce show no increase during the mythical midlife crisis years.
• Tell me your sex, and you've given me no clue. The sexes are prone to different sorts of misery. When troubled, men more often become alcoholic, while women more often ruminate and get depressed. Yet men and women are equally likely to declare themselves "very happy" and "satisfied" with life.
• Tell me your race, and you've given me no clue. African-Americans, for example, are only slightly less likely than European-Americans to feel very happy. Yet how could this be, given what everyone knows—that disadvantaged groups suffer impoverished self-esteem and resulting depression? It's because what "everyone knows" is wrong.

  Social psychologists Jennifer Crocker and Brenda Major explain: "A host of studies conclude that blacks have levels of self-esteem equal to or higher than that of whites." The National Institute of Mental Health's study of Psychiatric Disorders in America similarly revealed that rates of depression and alcoholism among blacks and whites are roughly equal.

• Tell me your income, and—assuming you can afford life's necessities—I'm still in the dark as to whether you're a happy person. Most people suppose otherwise. They are not crass enough to say that money buys happiness. But they do think that 20 percent more money would make them a little happier. And three in four students—nearly double the proportion in 1970—now begin college agreeing that its "very important" that they become "very well off financially."

Again, the findings astonish us: People in rich countries are not consistently happier than people in not-so-rich countries. (During the 1980s, the West Germans had double the incomes of the poorer Irish, who year after year reported more satisfaction with their lives,) And rich people—even those surveyed among Forbes' 100 wealthiest Americans—are only slightly happier than working-class folk.

So what would give us a clue about someone's level of happiness and how can we use this information to improve our inner well-being? Although there is no surefire "How to Be Happy" formula, here are a few suggestions:

• Realize that enduring happiness doesn't, come from "making it." What do you long for? Fame? Fortune? Unlimited leisure? Imagine that I could snap my fingers and give it to you. Would you now be happy? Indeed, you'd be euphoric, in the short run. But gradually you would adapt to your new circumstance and life would return to its normal mix of emotions. To recover the joy, you would now need an even higher high.

  The consistent finding from dozens of studies is that objective life circumstances, once we've adapted to them, bear little relation to people's happiness. At one extreme, people with disabilities—even those paralyzed after car accidents—typically recover normal levels of day-to-day happiness. At the other extreme, people who've won a state lottery also settle back to their characteristic level of happiness.

  Consider, too, how we have "made it." In 1957, per-person income, expressed in today's dollars, was less than $8,000. Today it is $16,000. With doubled incomes, we (at least those not left behind by the growing gap between rich and poor) now have double the material goods that money can buy—including twice as many cars per person. We also have microwave ovens, color TVs, VCRs, answering machines, and $12 billion a year worth of brand-name athletic shoes.

  So are we indeed happier? We are not. In 1957, 35 percent of Americans told the National Opinion Research Center they were "very happy." In 1991, only 31 percent said the same. Meanwhile, depression rates have soared.

  Ergo, wealth is like health: Although its utter absence breeds misery, having it is no guarantee of happiness. There is no need to envy the rich. Happiness is less a matter of getting what we want than wanting what we have.

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  Tags: age sex, anger and anxiety, close friends, clue, depression, disadvantaged groups, empty nest syndrome, extroversion, happiness, hundred thousand, men and women, mental health, personal control, personality, self esteem, self-esteem, sexes, sorts, stress