Behind Closed Doors: Sex Therapists

The emotions generated by therapy are so potent and lasting that some therapists think the ban on sex should continue indefinitely. "A patient should be forever off limits," says Glen Gabbard, M.D. "Even after the professional relationship has been terminated, the same feelings are immediately reestablished if they get back together."

Neglecting such a ban could gravely corrupt the therapy itself. A therapist or patient who envisions fulfillment of longings somewhere down the road is unlikely to be entirely open and honest. "You can't do therapy when you're withholding information or keeping secrets to make a good impression because you might want to date later," says Gabbard. Symptoms may miraculously vanish when consummation awaits the end of therapy.

Many in the American Psychiatric Association share his view. Right now, their ethical code calls sex with a former patient "almost always" wrong, and a proposal to remove the "almost" is close to approval.

Other experts, however, call the lifetime ban unrealistic and probably illegal. "The constitution guarantees freedom of association," says Gary Schoener. The evidence of harm is ample enough to justify abridging that right to forbid sex during therapy, but not afterward. What's more, the vast majority of misconduct complaints occur when sex begins immediately after termination; by six months, all but one percent have been filed.

Minnesota and other states forbid sex for two years after therapy. One year would probably be enough, he says.

Many professionals marry their former patients, Schoener points out. A survey of 101 therapists found that most (with the exception of psychoanalysts, who take transference feelings more seriously) didn't consider such behavior unethical. "There's no evidence these marriages don't work," he says.

But on this score, too, some remain dubious. Often, observes Rina Folman, Ph.D., the original power imbalance remains throughout the marriage. "The patient stays the patient. And I've seen cases where the therapist goes on to have affairs with other patients."

BUYER BEWARE

While many offenders are inferior clinicians whose sexual misconduct fits into a pattern of general incompetence, a disturbing number are eminent experts at the top of their profession.

This includes those who have every reason to know better. A researcher whose pioneering work helped document the extent and harm of sex in therapy was later sued for divorce and ousted from his psychiatric association for having an affair with a patient. The American Psychiatric Assocation expelled Charles Culver, M.D., for exploiting a patient through a personal relationship. He was professor of psychiatry and ethics at Dartmouth Medical School, and the editor of a book on medical ethics.

Ideally, the taboo against sex should be discussed explicitly when therapy begins. Given the discomfort that both patients and therapists feel around this issue, a brochure can make sure it's not forgotten. In one state, California, psychotherapists are obligated to give patients such a brochure at the first session.

This approach seems effective. Beverly Thorn, Ph.D., found that after reading a brochure, current and prospective patients better understood what is and isn't appropriate in therapy. They felt they'd be more assertive if a therapist did something to make them uncomfortable, and were more confident in their ability to deal with sexual misconduct. Despite therapists' fears, the brochure didn't undermine trust. Patients said they were less likely to file a false complaint than they were before.

If you're in therapy, it's important to know that sexual exploitation rarely comes out of the blue. "Sexual misconduct usually begins with relatively minor boundary violations, which often show a crescendo pattern," psychiatrists Gutheil and Gabbard point out in an article in the American Journal of Psychiatry (Vol. 150, No. 2). "A direct shift from talking to intercourse is quite rare; the 'slippery slope' is the characteristic scenario." Regard the first slips as warning signs.

o In a typical sequence, the relationship first changes from a last-name to first-name basis. "There may well be instances when using first names is appropriate, but therapists must carefully consider whether they are creating a false sense of intimacy that may subsequently backfire," they write.

o Next, conversation turns increasingly from the clinical to the personal. For therapists to talk unduly about themselves should warn of potentially dangerous departures from their proper role.

o Body contact often follows, beginning with friendly pats and progressing to hugs. Therapists should initiate nothing more intimate than a handshake, the authors advise, and gently discourage patients' attempts at closer contact.

o Trips outside the office are the most common next step.

o "Sessions during lunch are an extremely common form of boundary violation," the authors say. "This event appears to be a common way station along the path of increasing boundary crossings culminating in sexual misconduct."

o Patient and therapist may then get together for movies or other social events--a familiar dating pattern before they move on to bed.

Tags: abuse of power, client, disproportionate share, ethical practitioners, family doctors, feminist consciousness, glen o gabbard, guilty parties, gynecologists, menninger clinic, news magazine, parallels, professional relationship, psychologist, psychotherapists, sex, sexual misconduct, sexual needs, social workers, therapy, topeka kansas

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