What's In It For You?
By taking part in this exercise together, you will have an opportunity to compare how each of you sees yourself with how your partner sees you. The similarities you find will confirm your areas of agreement, while any differences should be treated as topics for discussion. Keep in mind that such differences do not necessarily represent a failing or an underlying weakness in your relationship. Rather, they may simply reflect normal variations in style.
HOW TO TAKE THE TEST
Begin by cutting out the two identical pairs of scorecards, labeled "Partner A" and "Partner B." Each of you should then take one set of scorecards and mark your responses to the 35 statements, first for how you view yourself and then for how your view your partner. Answer as honestly as possible the extent to which you agree or disagree with each statement as a description of how you see your own or your partner's personality. In each case, marking the number in the far left-hand column of the scorecard would mean that you strongly disagree with the statement; marking the number in the far right-hand column means that your strongly agree. You may, or course, mark any number in between those two poles, indicating varying degrees of agreement or disagreement. Mark only one number per item on the scorecard.
The perceptions we have of other people both influence and are influenced by the view we have of ourselves. This is especially true in dose personal relationships, in which the partners reinforce and challenge one another's perceptions on an ongoing basis. The closest relationships often develop a transpersonal quality, in which the partners move beyond their isolated sense of self and perceive themselves as part of an integrated whole. Each may feel that the relationship is an essential part of his or her identity. Being able to experience this expanded sense of self without sacrificing individuality is one sign of a healthy relationship.
In healthy relationships, partners do not always see eye-to-eye on every issue, but are able to communicate openly about their areas of disagreement, which may include their perceptions of each other. For example, your partner may see something in you that you do not recognize in yourself. He or she may overlook important aspects of your personality, perhaps because you rarely express those sides of yourself. In addition, each of you is likely to interpret some aspects of your partner's personality within the context of your own personal biases and self-perceptions. If you see yourself as very shy, for instance, you may view your partner as an outgoing person by comparison.
To help you explore the perceptions that you and a selected partner have of each other, we present Part Three of the PT/Berkeley Personality Profile, which focuses on the way you and a partner see your own and one another's personality. This partner may be someone with whom you are romantically involved, or simply a close personal friend. If you participated in Parts One and Two of the test, you will be able to easily compare your results in this questionnaire with your earlier results.
A word of caution: The PT/Berkeley Personality Profile is not intended as a means of assessing the state of your mental health and does not provide any form of psychotherapy or couples therapy. We urge those who are experiencing serious relationship problems to check with qualified professionals.
This test Lists 35 statements that can be used to describe your personality from a variety of perspectives. On each scorecard, honestly rate the extent to which you agree that each statement applies to your or your partner.
A = 1 - Disagree Strongly
2 - Disagree A Little
3 - Neither Agree nor Disagree
4 - Agree A Little
5 - Agree Strongly
B = 5 - Disagree Strongly
4 - Disagree a Little
3 - Neither Agree nor Disagree
4 - Agree A Little
5 - Agree Strongly
1. Is outgoing, sociable. A
2. Tends to find fault with others. B
3. Is a reliable worker. A
4. Remains calm in tense situations. B
5. Values artistic, aesthetic experiences A
6. Is reserved. B
7. Is considerate and kind to almost everyone. A
8. Can be somewhat careless. B
9. Is relaxed and handles stress well. B
10. Prefers work that is routine and simple B
11. Is full of energy. A
12. Can be cold and aloof. B
13. Does things efficiently. A
14. Gets nervous easily. A
15. Has an active imagination. A
16. Is sometimes shy, inhibited. B
17. Likes to cooperate with others. A
18. Tends to be disorganized. B
19. Is emotionally stable, not easily upset. B
20. Prefers the conventional, traditional. B
21. Is talkative. A
22. Is sometimes rude to others. B
23. Does a thorough job. A
24. Is depressed, blue. A
25. Is sophisticated in art, music, or literature. A
26. Tends to be quiet. B
27. Is generally trusting. A
28. Is lazy at times. B
29. Worries a lot. A
30. Wants things to be simple and clear-cut. B
31. Generates a lot of enthusiasm. A
32. Has a forgiving nature. A
33. Is easily distracted. B
34. Can be tense. A
35. Is inventive. A
By Eileen Donahue, Keith Harary
Originally published in Psychology Today Magazine
